Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The search for water stops here


You know you're supposed to drink water.

So one day you put a six-ounce glass in the bathroom and another by the kitchen sink. And for a couple of days, every time you see either glass, you fill it with water, and you drink.

But then somebody in comes along and puts the glasses in the dishwasher. And you go back to forgetting water. Until one day, you come upon a plastic water-bottle sale at Target.




You buy a pretty opaque blue boy and fill it first thing in the morning.

But something's wrong.

The mouth is too big.  



And it's plastic.


You remember reading plastic is the new cholesterol.

The water bottle got lost at the soccer field anyway.

You quit again.

Next, while you're out shopping for Christmas presents, you see this really cool glass bottle at Whole Foods.

You know it's glass and it could break. But hey, it's better than plastic, at least during this news cycle, and it has this rubber protective thing around it. Ah, but it's $20, which feels a little luxurious, if not downright narcissistic. Aren't you shopping for presents for other people?

So hey, you can put it on your own Christmas list! And sure enough, one day around Dec. 20, somebody calls you and says "I'm at World Market. What was that water bottle you were talking about?"

"It was from Whole Foods, not World Market," you say.

"Oh, I'm not going there today," the person says.

Your throat is beginning to parch and your kidneys are shriveling to the size of a burnt popcorn kernel.

And then some other day you're in the little natural foods store in town.

You saunter by the clearance table, where all the weird vitamins nobody wants are sitting.

Lo and behold, shining like Darth Vader in the desert, is this: 

Sleek. Black. Stainless steel. Double-walled (whatever that means). It's curved in the middle to accommodate the curve of your hand. It has two tops, one you fill with the water and the other, that stays attached to the bottle that you pull off for drinking.The opening to the bottle is the perfect size for your little lips. You easily envision yourself holding this curved sexy thing in your hand, chugging on this 16-ounce baby, two 8-oz glasses at a time, which, you calculate, means you only have to fill it four times a day, five if you're being really good, as well you should be.


And well, it's double-walled.

You are afraid to look at the price tag.

But it's on the clearance table...You see it's $12.49, marked down from $13.69!

And now.. guess what?

It's been a whole month and I'm still taking my new sexy friend everywhere I go. I fill him on some days four times, sometimes three, more often two and a half. But I'm doing it. I am creating a water habit

Here's a link to the bottle online. Unfortunately, it's $20 plus shipping, instead of $12.69. But don't ignore the fact that your liver is growing cactus and your gall bladder needs a lint cleaner. And drinking water can reinvigorate your ability to leap over tall buildings.