The summer of pickles

BRINGING UP MOMMY COLUMN
BY DEBRA-LYNN B. HOOK
PUBLISHED BY MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS
JULY 2010
~~~~~~~~
THE SUMMER OF PICKLES

My 13-year-old spends his summer days hanging with a gang we call The Pickle Boys.

It's not a gang in the street sense of the word.

Think instead Spanky and Alfalfa.

Think freckles and braces and five 12- and 13-year-old boys who have been best friends since pre-school. Think long, hot days in a cool, black lake. Think Four Square and Frisbee and Pickle in the Middle, a keep-away game they play so much that one parent borrowed the name and gave it to them. Think World Cup parties evolving into burgers and watermelon, evolving into S'mores and sleepovers, and when the order has been given for lights off, the sound of boys' muffled laughter and chatter into the night from tents in the back yard or from the basement where they've lain their sleeping bags side-by-side.

The Pickle Boys are not without their modern distractions. Like millions of other American boys, they have their DSs, their Wiis, their PlayStations and their iPods, from which they have to be pulled away.

But together, they are bigger than their gadgets. In a culture of organized activities and a constant struggle against summer boredom, the Pickle Boys are their own organization, like the neighborhood gangs of eras gone by, especially apparent during the easy, accessible days of summer when it's just as simple for five to hang out, as it is for two or three or four.

The beauty of the Pickle Boys lies in this collective loyalty and in a shared joie de vivre, captured in endless afternoons of driveway basketball and pickup soccer, captured in a summer snapshot during a safety break at the pool one afternoon, their chests bare while they laugh over a book that in later years might very well be a centerfold in Playboy, but this summer is the "The Ultimate List of Top Ten Lists" and the Top Ten Poisonous Foods We Love to Eat.

It lies in chronology. Old enough this summer finally - to walk the several blocks to each other's houses, they are yet young enough that a simple game of Pickle in the Middle is enough to sustain and entertain.

It lies in longevity. They've known each other since they were 3, riding the halls of Tree City Preschool on three-wheelers.

We parents look on gratefully, knowing what we have here. Not geeks or nerds, not artsy or jocks, not yet flirty with the girls or snippy with their mothers, here is a gang of boys whose parents stayed in the same place long enough for five boys' shared interests and temperaments to bond together in friendships that have carried them almost as long as their families, through all of pre-school and elementary school, into the notoriously fractious years of middle school.

We also know the summer before eighth grade doesn't last forever. Next summer is the summer before high school. Someone will go into summer sports training. Somebody will get a girlfriend. Paths will change. Other interests will form.

But for now, the ones among the Pickle Boys who have braces tell the orthodontist, "Lime green bands, please," because of a pact they made to keep the same color on their teeth.

They rise in the morning, wondering what they will do today. They go to bed at night, often next to one another under twinkly lights strung up in the basement.

These days will change one day; we don't know how.

For right now, right here, in a small town in northeast Ohio, this is a summer where memories are being made. They are memories for us, too, one gracious summer of watermelon and sleepovers, of laughter and simple pleasure and a gang we called the Pickle Boys.

Forever moments

My 13-year-old son and youngest child is away at camp. For a month. Ahem. Did you hear me correctly? A month. Thirteen years old. What is up with that? I miss him, and so I am reprinting this "Bringing Up Mommy" column I wrote for Knight-Ridder/Tribune News when he was 9.

FOREVER MOMENTS
The best part of summer vacation was not the pizza with the award-winning sauce or the shuffleboard game or even the soft-serve cones that were big as Mrs. Simpson's hair and cost only a dollar.

The best part was the sky.

"Look! The sky is purple!" said my 9-year-old son as the two of us walked through the village square along the shore of Lake Erie.

It was a signal.

And as the sun cast its last reflection of the day on this great expanse of Great Lake named after an Indian tribe, my young son and I stopped.

"What else?" I whispered.

"I hear flip-flops flopping and a basketball."

I waited, quiet, so we could offer full attention to the unmistakable sounds of a child's summer sandals slapping against the sidewalk, and, sure enough, a basketball bouncing on the village court.

"I smell fish from the lake," I said.

"Hmmmm," my son said, and he took in a deep breath through his nose.

"I see the lights of the boats," he said, his eyes wide open now.

"I feel a light breeze on my arm," I said.

"I feel happy in my heart, and peace," he said.

"I feel safe," I said.

With each pronouncement, with each observation, my son and I experienced the summer night more deeply, until we were satisfied we had imprinted another "forever moment," as we have come to call them.

It was not unlike the moment we chanced upon a few weeks ago while riding bikes: Instead of racing along the trail in a hurry, always rushing to see what's around the bend, we had decided to open our hearts and our five senses, one-by-one, to each curve along the path.

"I see shadows on the trail from the sun."

"I hear the sound of a lawn mower."

"I smell the crispness of the air."

"I see a turtle!"

We saw nuances and details that we typically overlook when we are thinking about what we're going to have for lunch or when boys' soccer practice is going to start up again.

We noticed that the leaves on the same tree appeared to be different shades of green because of the slant of the sun. We distinguished between the call of doves, crows and what I call tweety birds. We experienced and recognized the wind and the sun in our faces. We felt peace.

The constant, the mainstay, in these moments is what we feel inside. So far, when my son and I have stopped to be where we are, we have reported to each other feelings of safety, happiness and peace, which makes me wonder why we, why all of us in our family, why all of us everywhere, don't allow ourselves these moments all the time.

When my husband and I are sitting at the soccer field watching our children, when our family is all together at the dinner table, when we are playing a board game, when we are saying our long, ritualistic good-nights, cuddled up to each other, instead of thinking of what we have to do tomorrow, instead of worrying how much higher gas prices are going to go or how we're going to pay for college, we could be having a different experience.

"I hear the tick tock of the clock."

"I hear an owl outside."

"I feel your skin against mine."

"I feel the love between me and you."

We've all read the pundits, the philosophers and the theologians who remind us to live in the present moment: "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time," sings James Taylor. "Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream in the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment," said Buddha. "This it the day that the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it," says the Psalmist.

I had thought this would require some kind of paradigm shift, some measure of life-commanding attention.

Now, having had these moments with my willing child, I know that the present moment is as easy as leaving my post, stepping outside and calling to my young son, "Want to have a forever moment?"

We sit on the front stoop, him in his sweaty, dirty play clothes and me in my apron from the kitchen where I've started supper. And we listen to the wings of the birds and the beginning of a summer evening, emblazoned now forever.

Corporate hospitality and the comfortable hotel

I have, for the last week, traveled the state of my birth, South Carolina, from north to south and west to east, from the mountains where I was born, to the sea where I had my first newspaper job, from the pines and mountain laurel of the Upstate to the palms and sweet grasses of the Low Country. My last night here, I even tiptoed over the border, to Asheville -- which I heard had transformed into an artists' colony. This North Carolina jewel, elevated 2,100 feet in the Appalachians, did not disappoint with its artists' district along the winding, dipping French Broad River, with its hippie chic downtown shops and its uber cool restaurants. Among the Asheville eateries is Vegetarian Seed, a mostly vegan gourmet cafe cheffed by Jason Sellers, former chef of Candles 79 in NYC, once named best veggie restaurant in the U.S. Jason is a gentle and approachable soul, who sat at the counter and chatted with me at length about how he comes up with recipes, both international and traditional. I also made, on my way back to Greenville from Asheville, a surprise veer off U.S. 25 on a dark and spooky night. I went deep into the edge of the Blue Ridge, where I found my beloved Camp Wabak, a Girl Scout camp embedded so deep in forever moments that I remembered the smells as I flew the back roads, my windows open to the crickets, the tree frogs and the sticky heat of a South Carolina summer night.

It was indeed a journey that started last Saturday, July 17, with a Southern Baptist funeral in my hometown Greenville. The funeral was for my outspoken but gentle and beloved Aunt Jane, the Bledsoe-side relative who never conspired with many of the other aunts and uncles to villify me and my three sisters for aligning with my wild child mother after her divorce from my father. I always said I would attend her funeral when she died, and despite many obstacles, including concern that various aunts and uncles would not be happy to see me, I did. I moved aside other obligations, flew to Atlanta and drove the 150 miles to Greenville where I met up with Blood Sistah Kim of the Memphis Lloyds. She and I went together to the Southern Baptist funeral, which was held outside in the 100-degree heat and which was presided over by two fire-and-brimstone preachers determined to save everybody gathered at graveside, including two people who fell out, not from being saved, but from the 100-degree heat. There was indeed an aunt there who would not lift her face to me as I approached her under the tent where she was cooling herself with a church fan. Ah, but I had sister Kim and Cuz Pam, and later, at Aunt Jane's house where her Sunday School class had provided Southern style funeral food -- potato salad, mac and cheese, green beans and sweet tea - there were reunions with other cousins who told us they had moved beyond calling me and my three sisters "the devils." I heard the word, "healing" a lot that day.

On into the week, I reunited and re-introduced myself to the loveliest parts of South Carolina, including the artfully landscaped downtown of this charming Greenville that I couldn't wait to leave when I was 16, which I did with the aforementioned wild child mother. I rediscovered the cosmopolitan Columbia in the Midlands where, I married my husband, bore two of our children and worked as a newspaper reporter for 11 years. And I became smitten --again -- with the culturally diverse Low Country and its Taffy Tacky Surfside Beach, its poignant salt marshes of Pawley's Island, and the mystical, haunted Murrells' Inlet, where Steve and I spent the most tumultuous days of our "courting". Throughout the week, I saw old friends from The State Newspaper in Columbia who felt so much like home again that I'm afraid I must dispute Thomas Wolfe. I was blessed to spend two days with my dear, dear heart friend, the lovely M.E. Perkins, who, when she was 10 years old 21 years ago, was my first baby sitter when my first child was born, and who now, sweetly, is pregnant with her own child. My time with her was magic, as were the hours spent with Cousin Pam and sister Kim, who was here for three lovely days -- one of which was her birthday! My compatriot in flirts with waiters between sips of wine, she also co-stalked my father's old house to see how it had changed, and sat with me for hours, feeling all the feelings that come, on the porch of my maternal grandmother's house, which was condemned two years ago by the City of Greenville for lack of care, but which remains standing because nobody, not even the City of Greenville, can muster the cruelty to destroy a breaking heart.

Greenville was Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Monday evening was Columbia. On Tuesday, M.E. and I traveled south to Charleston and north, up the coast, ultimately all the way to Myrtle Beach, in search of the perfect coastal experience -- and the perfect beach hotel. Not TOO tumbledown, but not too richy-rich was the beach scene we were after. We ended up settling on Huntington State Park, where we knew we really wanted to go all along, a pristine beach 20 miles south of Myrtle Beach and as wide as a six-lane highway, with a marsh to guide us in, with its bigger-than-life ecosystem and its teeny tiny sweet little angel crabs, its elegant egrets and goofus pelicans where I took too many pictures to edit. Once we decided on our hangout for Wednesday, we checked in to the Hampton Inn in Litchfield for Tuesday night.

This was HI Experience Number One, a lovely experience as soon as we walked in the door, when we were greeted by a nurturing, joking woman who obviously loves the beach and her job, who told us we might believe we our offshore hotel is waterfront if we stand on the roof and look really hard. The maids were friendly. Breakfast was lovely, including as it did (instant, but still) grits, fresh fruit and a waffle made fresh in a self-worked waffle iron. And: There were no sperm blankets -- those polyester hotel bedspreads, which infrared light revealed in a documentary are covered with all kinds of human yuk that is never laundered, much less sanitized. "Yes, we have upgraded bed linens," our maternally inclined hotelier said knowingly, meaning "Yes, we have white, washable duvet covers with no sperm on them."

We spent Tuesday at the hotel, did the beach on Wed, drove back Wed night after eating soft-serve ice creams as big as Mrs. Simpson's hair and after driving through Myrtle Beach with its souped-up cars dragging the Grand Strand. I spent the night with M.E., saw more friends on Thursday and then headed up on a 99-degree midday to the Upstate.

I was on the highway, which was 123 degrees, about to fall asleep and thinking I should pull over into a parking lot and do that. But I thought I might melt or faint or succumb completely in the heat. "I know," I thought. "What if I find a Hampton Inn? I'll tell them I was just at one of their sister hotels on the coast. And maybe they'll let me come in with my laptop and doze off a bit in the lobby."

I was a little hesitant, to say the least, and thought for a second of just sneaking in to an HI, which is short for Hi!!, BTW. I would slip by the desk clerks, unnoticed, and do what I needed to do, without asking.

Side note: This is is not my M.O. I like to tell the truth and see what happens. I almost always am rewarded. And so I boldly walked into the lobby with my laptop prepared to give a speech. But right away, without even a word from me, the woman at the desk handed me an access code for the Internet.

"I'm not a guest here," I said.

She just shook her head back and forth, like "You don't need to explain yourself, honey."

I blabbed on, "I did just leave a Hampton Inn on the coast. I'm headed up to Greenville, but I'm about to fall asleep."

The whole time, she was just shaking her head. "It's OK, honey," she said, pointing to the lobby. "Go get yourself some complimentary coffee if you want some."

When I left an hour later, refreshed, cared for, dare I say, loved, they gave me two homemade cookies.

I shall never wander the interstate exits again. Not to the Best Western, nor Holiday Inn. Not Ramada or Quality will I go. But Hampton Inn, which is where, like a devoted lamb, I pulled in last night, my last night with Southern hospitality in SC before I drive to Hartsville International in Atlanta. This is not an advertisement, but an unpaid endorsement, a lovely thread to have wound its way through my journey home.

Simple salsa secrets

Hey!!!! I made some salsa for my kids for the finals of the World Cup. From chop to blend to table took me maybe seven minutes. And it was so yummy and I just don't know why I don't do this all the time instead of buying that processed, expensive stuff at the store. Actually, I do know why: It's because I don't always have all those fancy gourmand peppers around. The thing is, you don't need all those fancy gourmand peppers. Fresh gourmand peppers, a la habanero, serrano, jalapeno, like some of my gourmand friends like to grow, are yummy additions. Only problem is not all of us have fresh gourmand peppers lying around all the time. And, shhh, they're really not necessary. All you need for a good, fresh salsa is what's in the picture above, which is:

2 small tomatoes, chopped
1/2 green pepper, chopped
1/2 onion, chopped
1 teaspoon dried red chili pepper, which you can find in your spice section
1 large clove garlic
2 tablespoon cilantro
pinch of salt
squeeze of lemon



Throw everything in your food processor. Go pulse pulse pulse, maybe three times, like Dorothy. No more or it'll turn into gazpacho, but just enough to blend it all together in a salsa-like form.

And there you have it, the best, least expensive (cost maybe $1.75), healthiest salsa this side of the Atlantic, made so not by fancy gourmand peppers, but by cilantro. That, my friends, is the secret ingredient -- an herb native to Southern Europe, a la Spain, which went on to win the 2010 World Cup. Viva L'Espagne and cilantro!

Google food

An easy way to be creative in the kitchen: Type your favorite food items into Google search and see what you come up with.

Example No. 1: One day, having just returned from Sister Susan's house and New Orleans, I wanted to cook something yummy, like I always do when I come home from the land of good food. Sister Sue had made a ginger pumpkin cream soup that was extra delectable with the addition of fresh fennel. What is this? Can you believe I'd never had fresh fennel? I was interested in cooking something with this aromatic plant, indigenous to the Mediterranean. I also wanted to make something with beets, which, because this was early May, were just emerging from their wintry ground.  Sooooo, I typed "fennel beets" into Google search and voila! I found this amazing ginger-y, lemon-y recipe from the blog, Mediterranean Cooking In Alaska, which I hastily made and just as hastily ate, which made my bodily fluids turn red, which always freaks me out until I remember I ate beets.  Here is the link to the recipe: http://medcookingalaska.blogspot.com/2008/02/recipe-beet-fennel-and-leek-salad-with.html

Example No. 2: I love okra, which I remember sliced and fried in cornmeal when I was a child in the hills of South Carolina. Later, when my nomad Mama moved us to New Orleans, okra was a substantial, if not slimy, part of gumbo. Being part Mediterranean, I also love  eggplant. And sooo, can you guess? I Googled "okra eggplant." Take a look at this robust, aromatic result from India. Don't be put off by the funny-sounding spices. You can find them in the bulk spice section of your local grocery store.
http://www.ivu.org/recipes/indian-veg/eggplant-potato.html

Example No. 3. (See photo at the top of this post.) Being a plain yogurt lover and also a basil addict -- can you ever have too much of either? -- I wanted to make a sauce with basil and yogurt to ladle over fresh-steamed vegetables. So I Googled "basil and yogurt" and came up with this sauce to drizzle over eggplant, new potatoes, garlic, onion, carrots roasted with basil, rosemary and oregano plucked fresh from the window boxes on my deck. Almost as much as I love eating herbs, I love picking herbs, BTW, rubbing the leaves between my fingers to release the oil. I placed the potatoes on a bed of organic, just-picked arugula that I bought at the Kent Farmer's Market. I laid it all upside a couple slices of red yummy tomato, also just bought at the Farmer's Market, and next to my favorite green beans, steamed, then sauteed in Sister Kim's recipe of tamari, garlic, fresh ginger and toasted sesame oil. Here's the basil-yogur sauce link and a picture of the final product, laid on a plate I bought at the Asian Market in Seattle, when I was three years ago interviewing women for a white paper on modernday motherhood. Life can be rich, yes? 
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Creamy-Basil-Dressing-236645